Monday, November 30, 2009


This song gives me chills every time. The vocals in this are unreal to me. I wish with all my heart I could sing or perform nearly as well as this [or any artist for that matter].

This is just one of my favorites. All of them are so good.

Tell me you don't feel good when you listen to this..


Jordan is a huge fan of Pink Floyd. Therefore we would listen to them together. I have listened to the previously, but lately I have come to enjoy them even more. During the summer, I decided to surprise Jordan with tickets to Australian Pink Floyd. [I know, probably the best girlfriend in the world.] It was really really good. Probably one of my favorites. The music was.. Magic.

Sunday, November 29, 2009

I Thought Wrong.

I thought I was finally getting use to things. But things are still changing. I, for one, am no good with change. I am having a difficult time adjusting to the ways of this new life. But I am.. Trying.

Well, I lost my job last week and have been looking for a new one. I don't know where to look. My plans, if successful, is to move up to SLC and find a job there. But my problem is, first, I don't have a job. I need a job to get money to move[obviously]. Second, I don't want to get a job and have to quit as soon as I am ready to move [which I hope would be sooner than later]. Third.. I still have lots of things to take care of here in the valley. I am just antsy and I want to get this show on the road.

Monday, November 23, 2009

The Weekend.

This weekend, again, was not the best.
I now find myself with more free time
than I would like. It's not completely
a bad thing.. But not good either.
I can't really afford all of the free
time that has just been given to me.

Can I tell you a secret?

I worry constantly that boy will
stop liking me one of these days..
That boy will fall in love with someone
cooler, prettier, more understanding than I.
It makes me so sad and scared. It breaks
my heart to think about but I can't
but think that. Boy is great. He is cute.
It wouldn't be hard for him..
Everyone likes him.

I just worry..

Friday, November 20, 2009


Like always, I vent in my blog posts. I think it
helps me to see my thoughts in writing.
Today, I feel.. Off. I can't explain exactly why.
I am doubting things that I thought to be so
secure and sure in my life. This new routine of
my mine is throwing me off. Some normalcy and
consistency would be really good. I would just like to
have things return to the way they were back then.
The good times that seem so far away, but at the
same time, seem as if they were just yesterday.

ps. thanks for the nice comments from the Anonymous writer[s].
It is nice knowing that some one reads my ranting and rambling.

pps. did you know that pps is the [suppose] to be the correct
way rather than pss? It's post post script instead of post script script..

ppps. jordan comes home tuesday. :]

Wednesday, November 18, 2009

Oh Boy.

I feel so overwhelmed with everything right now.
There is still so much that I have to do
And it is holding me back from moving on..
It seems that I have been working so hard
and I haven't even made a dent.
My pace is so disheartening..

Monday, November 16, 2009

Something I've Noticed.

I have to apologize for the many melodramatic postings
these last months. I am sure that there is not many
people who want to read my pity-postings. And I am
sure that there are not many people who actually
read slash follow my blog. [And I still think it's
funny that I write as if there are so many people
who read this blog..]

But my apologies to those few that do.

It's late.. But I love this.
I will be sad if this doesn't work.

Sunday, November 15, 2009

I'm Ready.

I think I am finally ready to grow up.
At the same time I am a bit hesistant.
Only a teeny tiny bit though..
But I think that it needs to happen and soon.
I would love to move out as soon as possible
but there are many unfisnished things here in
Happy Valley that are holding me back.
Some thing seem nearly impossible to finish.
I am hopeful. I am ready. I am excited.

Saturday, November 14, 2009

Fitting In.

I feel that don't fit in anywhere.
The things I have done or the things
I choose not to do keep me from getting
close to others.. Or being able to fit in easily.

This song came on while I was writing and it fits hows I feels.

I've been feeling down
I've been looking round the town
For somebody just like me
But the only ones I see
Are the dummies in the window
They spend their money on clothes
It saddens me to think
That the only ones I see are mannequins
Looking stupid, being used and being thin
And I don't know why I hang around with them

Family Tree- Belle and Sebastian

Thursday, November 12, 2009

2 weeks.

For Two WEEKS, I will have to find ways to entertain myself. One day down.. Thirteen more to go. I am sure I can handle it.. Jordan left for England, on Tuesday, to visit relatives with his grandmother. I know, that is rough. But I am sure that he'll be fine. It hasn't really even been two days, and I miss already. One down, thirteen to go.

All the while, I have been reading To Kill a Mocking Bird (in the two days he's been gone). I remember having reading this in tenth grade and watching the movie instead. I am glad that I have the chance and the time to read again. My goal is to finish it the two weeks Jordan is gone.
We'll see how well that goes. :]

Saturday, November 7, 2009


My opinion hurts someone. Always.
I don't want you to be upset.
But I made it that way.
I am sorry.

Wednesday, November 4, 2009


I finally went to see THE movie and loved it.
As cliche as this sounds, I wish I was the
Queen of the Wild Things. Or King.
I love how rambunctious and..
Wild all of the characters were.
I think I will have to go see it again. :]